Life Freaking Lessons

Regardless of how old you are these are essential life lessons all rolled up into a good solid read! Enjoy!!

Your 20′s are the most pivotal points in our lives. This is the time in which we become responsible for how our future will unfold, due to the important actions and decisions that make up this exciting yet confusing stage.

 

This is when we mold the direction our lives will take, and the way we will handle all of the obstacles that stand in front of us completing the journey we have chosen to embark on.

 

The 20s brings upon a lot of questions, doubtful moments and uncertainty. It is maybe one of the hardest points in a person’s life because that is the first time we truly face ourselves in the mirror seriously and ask what the hell are we going to do with our life and how are we going to do it.

 

This is a scary concept for many of us, as throughout the first 22 years of our lives we are used to being in school and having our parents’ help us get anything we wanted or truly needed.  It is truly the first time we are considered independent adults and the decisions we make during this period will rest with us forever.

 

As we love helping our fellow Generation Y-ers we have put together the 20 best habits that we feel everyone should have in their 20s to make the most out of this stage in life by crafting a valuable and fruitful future.

20. Focus on the activities and people that make you happy.-

 

This isn’t high school anymore, where we have to please people just to be considered cool and fit in. This is the real world and in the real world all you have to worry about is yourself and not what others think about you. Do what you feel will help you attain the life you wish to have, be around the people you truly enjoy hanging out with and engage in what makes you feel most fulfilled.

 

19. Trust your instincts on new opportunities.-

 

Opportunities are never given, they are taken. Stop waiting for handouts in life and go out there and get what you want. Trust your instincts because if it doesn’t feel right inside it wont feel right for you as time goes by. Trust that little voice in your head and do what you feel is most beneficial for your well being and satisfaction.

 

18. Build the courage to face your fears.-

 

If you haven’t already noticed, the real world is filled with a lot of intimidating phases you must participate in to grow up. Don’t ever hesitate to give yourself a chance to be everything you are capable of being. What brings out the best version of yourself is the act of standing up to what scares you most.

 

The only person telling you to be afraid of these things is you. Engage in discomforting activities that you know will make you a stronger, more courageous person afterwards because they will never fail to do so.

 

 

17. Focus on the resources you do have access to.-

 

We have witnessed so many people sit there and complain that they can’t get where they want to be in life because they don’t have the necessary resources to assume control. It’s time to stop being a cry baby about this sort of thing. You wont be given any handouts so be ready to work hard.

 

Life is about making something out of nothing what makes you so special that you would be awarded a head start? Focus on the opportunities you DO have, and exploit the resources you DO have access to.

 

16. Be less busy, and more productive.-

 

Being busy is a good thing but managing your time is more important. You are not superman and you can’t do 100 things at once. Many people make the mistake of spreading themselves too thin and thus losing control of the opportunities they can no longer take full advantage of.

 

It’s easy to be busy but you need to be productive and effective as well. Focus on the tasks that your life will benefit most from. Get the necessary things done, the things in which you will be most at peace with yourself upon completion.

 

15. Make your goals a priority. –

 

If you make a goal, you better stick by it because there wont be anyone to push you to do so. You will eventually  learn that the direction your life takes is based on how you act on accomplishing your goals. Stay focused on your ambitions. Tomorrow may never come, so start today instead.

 

 

14. Accept your humanness. –

 

Own up to your mistakes, admit you are only human and understand that your 20s are a learning curve. You will screw up, it will hurt, but it is the only way you will learn how to take the next step most effectively. Take in all the answers to the tests you receive after approaching something the wrong way or simply being careless.

 

13. Seek less approval from others.-

 

You are going to learn a cold hard lesson that many people that you think care about you might actually be haters and users. Stop seeking approval from people and stop worrying about what other people think about you. Be proud of who you are and don’t let the opinions of the those who wish they had your courage bring you down. Remember, a lion does not worry himself over the opinions of the sheep.

 

12. Ignore society’s comparisons.-

 

It will never help you to compare yourself to other people and believe that you will never amount to their success. Stop renting an identity, be you and live your life without comparing it to someone else’s. You are far more nuanced than anyone else’s narrative you try to fit yourself into, and more complex than society’s story of what ‘should’ be happening in your life.

 

 

11. Believe in your ability to succeed.-

 

Fate and self belief are the two biggest factors of succeeding in this world. Unless you believe that what you are after is in fact possible to attain, you won’t get anywhere. You need to always maintain a belief in your own ability to succeed, doubting yourself will only distract you from the steps you should be taking to get closer to your dream.

 

10. Manage your money before it starts to manage you.-

 

We live in one of the greatest recessions known to mankind, there are not many jobs out there and the entire world is about to simultaneously file for bankruptcy. Spend your money wisely and don’t spend above your means. The last thing you want to do is be living pay check to pay with so much uncertainty as to whether or not you will survive on your own.

 

9. Let the wrong people go.-

 

You are going to come across many different types of people in life, so you don’t have to be everyone’s friend. You will come to realize who your true friends are, supporting you through thick and thin. You will also, however, encounter a fair amount of poisonous individuals that will try to hold you back from getting what you want for their own benefit.

 

Cut them off and don’t let them intrude and ruin your life. You can’t make everyone happy in this world, so don’t bother trying. Don’t be so quick to lend out your trust.

 

 

8. Appreciate your true friends, and return the favor.-

 

You true friends are the ones that you can call during any time of the day and will be there to help you no matter what. Return the favor of being a good friend and don’t ever forget where you came from. Friendship is what will keep you humble throughout your journey, and as long as you continue to show appreciation for the love you are given, it will only come back in larger doses.

 

7. Understand right from wrong-

 

This isn’t college anymore, it is time to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. There is a right time and place for everything and by now you should know what will help you in the long run and what is simply a waste of time. It’s okay to have fun, but not during a time when you know you could be working harder to accomplish your goals.

 

6. Choose happiness. –

 

Happiness is a choice that varies in substance for many people, so you need to create your own kind of happiness that you find most fulfilling or stimulating. There is nothing you need in order to be happy other than the choice to do so. Let go of the worries you have for what may or may not come your way. Focus instead on the good things that you can give, create, inspire and choose to experience, right here, right now.

 

 

5. Learn to cope with anger effectively.-

 

Your 20s are an emotional rollercoaster of confusion and enlightenment. You will feel a significant amount of emotional stress and you need to understand how to control it so it only helps you dominate your 20′s with efficiency and pride.

 

When you begin to let your emotions start controlling you and your decisions is when you are destined to fall off a cliff. Unless they force you to work harder or more passionately, ignore the bad emotions and let the good one’s carry you to new intellectual heights.

 

4. Make your own destiny –

 

If you want to be successful then you need to create the life that is most deserving of such pleasures and reward. Don’t just sit there and talk the talk. You need to learn how to walk the walk and stick by your word. You have the power to make your own destiny and that starts with the decisions you make and the actions you take to become worthy of success.

 

3. Create priorities.-

 

Priorities will help you understand what is important in creating the life you wish to have and what is only stopping you from being the best version of yourself imaginable. Life is going to offer many distractions that will attempt to throw you off course from your goal.

 

It is ultimately up to you to stay disciplined at all times and understand how to spend your time and energy in accordance to your own well being. Don’t waste your time on social media or being a club rat. These things won’t make you a more intelligent person with a better grasp on how to handle life’s important choices.

 

2. Stay away from a routine based life.-

 

Don’t turn into a pedestrian by settling for the first thing that life gives you. Security and stability may seem less harmful at first but they prevent you from experiencing the greatest adventures and rewards this world could possibly offer. You will be presented with a lifestyle that appears comfortable, doing the same things each day with little or no excitement or mental growth involved.

 

This is why you need to remember that to take advantage of the wondrous opportunities life has in store for you, you must get comfortable with the uncomfortable and choose the road that is most interesting, regardless of how complicated or unnerving it may be.

 

1. Always keep in mind that life is somewhat unpredictable.-

 

Some of the great moments in your life won’t necessarily be the things you do; they’ll be things that happen to you. That doesn’t mean you can’t take action to affect the outcome.. You have to take action, and you will. But don’t forget that on any day, you can step out the front door and your whole life can change in an instant – for better or worse.

 

To an extent, the universe has a plan that’s always in motion. A butterfly flaps its wings and it starts to rain – it’s a scary thought, but it’s part of life’s cycle. All these little parts of the machine, constantly working – sometimes forcing you to struggle, and sometimes making sure you end up exactly in the right place at the right time.

 

Preston Waters | Elite

Source: http://elitedaily.com/elite/2012/20-good-habits-start-20s/

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Professor and Beer Life Lesson- Love This!

salt water
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed..

‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—the small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn.

Take care of the golf balls first—the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled and said, ‘I’m glad you asked.’ The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

author unknown — happy to attribute if somebody knows

The Perfect Horoscope Site

It’s my birthday month! I’m a Virgo and I thought it would be perfect timing to tell everyone about my one of my guilty pleasures–Horoscopes.

Call me cliché, but I’m a true believer that everything happens for a reason. I don’t go to a psychic or check every magazine possible for its horoscope, but I will say that Susan Miller’s AstrologyZone.com is fantastically scary. Although her website looks like it was created in 1996, she has made a clear living off of this blog with the countless number of books and conventions she attends. She gives in-depth planet/universe summary, along with a short recap without the planet lingo since it can get confusing. She gives all insight to those who are single, married, engaged, upon all topics of career, money, and relationships.

You ultimately decide what your future is, but nothing is wrong with thinking what the future holds. I also think it is important to remember not read into everything and pin point dates, after all it’s just for fun!

So just think when you have to pay your mortgage or rent the first of the month, remember to check www.AstrologyZone.com too!

Virgo leo-virgo

25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

Pretty sure this article is on point and certainly worth a read 😉

25 Things I’ve Learned In My 20s

By RYAN O’CONNELL 

  1. You can’t date a jerk and expect to turn them into a good person. Jerks are fully committed to being unpleasant. Those brief moments of tenderness they give you are designed to trip you up and give you false hope. It’s best to stay away altogether.
  2. The rumors are true: your metabolism does slow down as you get older! That means if you’re still eating whatever you want, there’s a good chance you’ll start to gain an awkward amount of weight. It won’t be too drastic but your clothes will start to hang differently on your body and you’ll feel an overall feeling of unattractiveness. Start to be conscious of what you eat and strive to live a healthier lifestyle if you want to get your teen body back. (Let’s be real though, that might not ever come back.)
  3. You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.
  4. You’ll be jealous of everyone who’s more successful than you. That’s okay. Just transfer that jealousy into something productive, like working really hard so you can one day eclipse them and make them feel jealous of YOU.
  5. You’ll question every decision you make and never feel completely certain that you made the right choice. It’s pointless to wonder though. You’re here now so you might as well make it be the right decision.
  6. You’re going to give your heart to a few people who don’t deserve it. Then, one day you’ll come to your senses and ask them to give it back.
  7. You’ll see your parents get older. You’ll come home during Christmas break and see new lines developing on their faces. One day it’ll just hit you that your parents are old and going to die. There’s nothing you can do about it, besides treat them with kindness and visit as much as your budget permits.
  8. You’ll have a boss who makes you feel like you’re nothing. It doesn’t have to be in a Devil Wears Prada way. The cruelty can be much more subtle. Don’t let them get to you though. They have no idea who the hell you really are and you’re probably going to have their job someday so…
  9. Doing drugs is fun until it’s not, until it starts affecting your life in negative ways and leaves you feeling guilty and wrecked. If that happens, you should stop doing them.
  10. You’re going to puke in public. It’s fine. No one cares. Just puke.
  11. You’ll know how to make twenty dollars last an entire week because you spent almost all of your paycheck on groceries at Whole Foods and drunk cab rides. This lesson in frugality will serve you well.
  12. You’re going to betray your convictions. You’re going to feel shame. You’re going to continue to put yourself in situations that aren’t good for you. And then, slowly but surely, it will become less frequent. It might not ever go away completely but it won’t be as bad. In the meantime, stop shame spiraling about it. It gets you nowhere.
  13. Loving yourself is hard. Hating yourself is harder.
  14. You’re going to hook up with someone who you would never touch in the daylight sober. Just don’t freak out too much about it. Consider it to be your good deed for the day.
  15. You’re going to have people in your life who are toxic. They may say that they love you, they may say that they have your back, but they don’t. Get rid of them.
  16. You’ll have moments with someone that are so intense, it’ll feel like you’ve been electrocuted back to life. You’ll hold on to these moments for a long time. They’ll give you hope when you’re going through the motions.
  17. You’ll always care about your first love. That doesn’t make you crazy, it just makes you human. When relationships end, it’s not so cut and dry. You carry everyone you’ve ever loved into every relationship thereafter.
  18. You’ll enter your twenties as a fashion disaster and (hopefully) leave them looking fantastic. If you don’t know how to put yourself together by then, I really don’t know what to tell you.
  19. You’ll realize that the Internet can be a cruel son of a bitch but, you know, http://www.whatever.com.
  20. So much of what you think matters doesn’t actually matter at all. It’s kind of rude. Like, thanks for making me believe in things that are ultimately so inconsequential, you jerk.
  21.  You’ll treat someone terribly. Whether it to be a lover or your friend, there’ll be someone whose feelings you take for granted. We focus too much on whether or not someone is hurting us. The reality is that we might actually be the one who’s hurting someone.
  22. Doing “grown-up things” doesn’t make you a grown up. Shopping for housewares, buying a plant, embracing domesticity — these things don’t create maturity. If you’re still a baby who hasn’t figured things out, you’ll remain a baby, no matter how many times you pay your rent on time.
  23. Don’t force yourself into loving anyone. If it’s not working in the beginning, it’s probably not going to work ever.
  24. You are so lucky to have everything that you have. Stop crying about an unreturned text message and get some perspective.
  25. Don’t go too long without having sex. Ever.

Entreprenuer? A rant from the heart, hip and head

Entrepreneur Mind Set?

You must listen to one of Jersey’s finest, Gary Vaynerchuk. With his dream of buying the Jet’s Professional Football Team one day… not only is he a wine expert, but  he’s a social media brand expert. He’s totally one of God’s hustlers here on Earth! Love this guy!

Gary wrote Crush It! Why Now is the Time to Cash in on your Passion, in October 2009. In the first weeks of its release it climbed to #1 on the Amazon Best Seller list for Web Marketing books. It also opened at #2 on the New York Times bestseller list and #7 on the Wall Street Journal Bestseller List.

The book encourages people to determine what truly makes them happy and pursue monetizing around it on the internet. It argues that because of recent social and technological trends the cost of producing content has been driven low enough that passion, knowledge, and effort, which the book calls “sweat equity”, are now all one needs to build a brand and business.

A rant from the heart, hip and head…

Career Ladies Must Read

I may blog about fluffy things like cupcakes, nail polish, and shoes at time,  but all fluff aside I’m always about career and self worth first and foremost. I’d love to share a great article written by @AmyJoMartin who is very well know in the digital world. She has built her own company, Digital Royalty, and also known for showing athletes like Shaquille O’neal how to tweet. With over a million twitter followers, she was also featured in Vanity Fair’s controversial article “America’s Tweethearts.

I’m not going to join a cult, sleep in a tent, or scream about woman’s rights but I do relate to this stellar article. Sending Positive Tweets to Amy on this one! #GoAmy #coffeeandheels

Dear Fellow Women,

Being a woman isn’t a business handicap. At the end of the day, we’re all graded based on a performance card. Men and women. Confidence, action and results are tightly related regardless of gender. If we believe we are inferior, we will be. If we believe we have a disadvantage, we will. It will impact our level of confidence, which impacts actions, and therefore results will suffer.

Until we start bringing the confidence, action and results (numbers) we aren’t going to get a seat at the boardroom table. Men are simply more successful when it comes to business. Yes, I just said that. Here’s why:

Studies show that men attribute their success to their own abilities and women attribute their success to external factors such as their mentors, outside help, etc. Women don’t own it. Men do.

Here’s how WE can change this:

  • Own It. It’s time. If we don’t have the confidence to take a shot at what we want in the business world, there’s a 100 percent chance we will fail. Basic math. Lack of confidence plus lack of action equals zero opportunity for success. It’s a game of confidence, action and results.
  • Innovate our approach. Change the game. We have to innovate our approach and be fearless enough to color outside the lines and not care what everyone inside the lines thinks. Society’s templates are often obsolete and antiquated. As a single thirty-two year old who lives by herself something must be wrong, right? Nope. I’m simply a happy person who hasn’t conformed. You have to be willing to face some adversity if you want to innovate your game. The ROI is worth it.
  • Keep our eye on the ball. Frequently, people ask me, “So this is your company?” with a confused look that a semi-young female could make moves in the world of business. Do you think they would ask the question to a male who has done the same? It doesn’t matter. Who cares. It never occurred to me to be distracted by these types of comments. Low ROI.
  • Get out of our own way. I’ve attended and spoken at many business conferences designed for women. These are business conferences, not supportive cry-on-the-stage-and-talk-about-how-tough-it-is-to-be-a-business-women conferences. Stop with the stereotype gender fluff in business settings. Focus on what you can control for better ROI.

The chip on our shoulder is chipping away at our ability to change the uneven percentages. We are simply getting in our own way.

If someone has an issue because you’re successful, driven or even because you haven’t conformed to society’s template of “womanhood,”  fine. That’s their problem and it’s none of your business what they think about you. In fact, it has nothing to do with business so spend your time focused on making a difference in your own world of business. Joining that distracting game or conversation admits there is relevance. In my opinion that’s a waste of mental space. We only have so much square footage upstairs in our minds and it’s valuable real estate. Own it.

Here’s why I’m so passionate about this message: Fifty percent of our leaders should be women. The world would be a better place if the gender percentages evened out. This generation of women is programmed and cultured to make a difference. It’s time we dismiss the chip on our shoulder, step up to the plate and start chipping away at the uneven percentages with more confidence, action and results.

We can’t do this on our own. It takes all of us to own it.

http://www.amyjomartin.com/2012/dear-fellow-women-own-it/

What You Wish You’d Known Before Your Interview

Career.Coffee.Heels. In that order please!

A dream job interview and a one way ticket to Los Angeles were the two things that I had to risk when interviewing for my career. I got the job the next day, and started the next day after.

In the economic state today and my father being a recruiter, I find it in my bones to helping out friends or colleagues with resumes, job searches, and interview tips. Timing, luck, karma, work, persistence certainly play into finding the perfect career… but I also found this helpful interviewing chart called “What You Wish You’d Known Before Your Interview.”

Good Luck and Dream Big!

FIVE Things to know at 25ish

What you need to know to be a real adult.

When you’re 25-ish, you’re old enough to know what kind of music you love, regardless of what your last boyfriend or roommate always used to play. You know how to walk in heels, how to tie a necktie, how to give a good toast at a wedding and how to make something for dinner. You don’t have to think much about skin care, home ownership or your retirement plan. Your life can look a lot of different ways when you’re 25: single, dating, engaged, married. You are working in dream jobs, pay-the-bills jobs and downright horrible jobs. You are young enough to believe that anything is possible, and you are old enough to make that belief a reality.

Errands

1. You Have Time to Find a Job You Love

Now is the time to figure out what kind of work you love to do. What are you good at? What makes you feel alive? What do you dream about? You can go back to school now, switch directions entirely. You can work for almost nothing, or live in another country or volunteer long hours for something that moves you. There will be a time when finances and schedules make this a little trickier, so do it now. Try it, apply for it, get up and do it.

When I was 25, I was in my third job…. I was frustrated at the end of the third year because I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do next. I didn’t feel like I’d found my place yet. I met with my boss, who was in his 50s. I told him how anxious I was about finding the one perfect job for me, and quick. He asked me how old I was, and when I told him I was 25, he told me I couldn’t complain to him about finding the right job until I was 32. In his opinion, it takes about 10 years after college to find the right fit, and anyone who finds it earlier than that is just plain lucky. So use every bit of your 10 years: try things, take classes, start over.

2. Get Out of Debt and Stay Out of Debt

Part of being a healthy, mature adult is learning to live within your means all the time, even if that means going without things you think you need, or doing work you don’t love for a while to be responsible financially. The ability to adjust your spending according to your income is a skill that will serve you your whole life.

There will be times when you have more money than you need. In those seasons, tithe as always, save like crazy, and then let yourself buy fancy shampoo or an iPad or whatever it is you really get a kick out of. When the money’s not rolling in, buy your shampoo from the grocery store and eat eggs instead of steak—a much cheaper way to get protein. If you can get the hang of living within your means all the time—always tithing, never going into debt—you’ll be ahead of the game when life surprises you with bad financial news.

I know a lot of people who have bright, passionate dreams but who can’t give their lives to those dreams because of the debt they carry. Don’t miss out on a great adventure God calls you to because you’ve been careless about debt.

3. Don’t Rush Dating and Marriage

Now is also the time to get serious about relationships. And “serious” might mean walking away from a dating relationship that’s good but not great. Some of the most life-shaping decisions you’ll make during this time will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without. One of the only truly devastating mistakes you can make in this season is staying with the wrong person even though you know he or she is the wrong person. It’s not fair to that person, and it’s not fair to you.

“Who are you dating?” “Do you think he’s the one?” “Have you looked at rings?” It’s easy to be seduced by the romance-dating-marriage narrative. We confer a lot of status and respect on people who are getting married—we buy them presents and consider them as more adult and more responsible.

Vintage Tiffany

But there’s nothing inherently more responsible or more admirable about being married. I have a fair amount of friends whose marriages are ending—friends whose weddings we danced at, whose wedding cake we ate, whose rings we oohed-and-aahed over but that have been taken off fingers a long time ago.

Some people view marriage as the next step to happiness or grown-up life or some kind of legitimacy, and in their mad desire to be married, they overlook significant issues in the relationship.

Ask your friends, family members and mentors what they think of the person you’re dating and your relationship. Go through premarital counseling before you are engaged, because, really, engagement is largely about wedding planning, and it’s tough to see the flaws in a relationship clearly when you’re wearing a diamond and you have a deposit on an event space.

I’m kind of a broken record on this. My younger friends will tell you I say the same things over and over when they talk to me about love, things like, “He seems great—what’s the rush?” and, “Yes, I like her—give it a year.” And they’ve heard this one a million times: “Time is on your side.” Really, it is.

4. Give Your Best to Friends and Family

While twentysomethings can sometimes spend a little too much energy on dating and marriage, they probably spend too little energy on friendships and family. That girl you just met and now text 76 times a day probably won’t be a part of your life in 10 years, but the guys you lived with in college, if you keep investing in them, will be friends for a lifetime. Lots of people move around in their 20s, but even across the distance, make an effort to invest in the friendships that are important to you. Loyalty is no small thing, especially in a season during which so many other things are shifting.

Family is a tricky thing in your 20s—to learn how to be an adult out on your own but to also maintain a healthy relationship with your parents—but those relationships are really, really worth investing in. I have a new vantage point on this now that I’m a parent. When my parents momentarily forget I’m an adult, I remind myself that someday this little boy of ours will drive a car, get a job and buy a home. I know that even then it will be hard not to scrape his hair across his forehead or tell him his eyes are looking sleepy, and I give my parents a break for still seeing me as their little girl every once in a while.

5. Don’t Get Stuck

This is the thing: When you hit 28 or 30, everything begins to divide. You can see very clearly two kinds of people. On one side, people who have used their 20s to learn and grow, to find God and themselves and their dreams, people who know what works and what doesn’t, who have pushed through to become real live adults. Then there’s the other kind, who are hanging onto college, or high school even, with all their might. They’ve stayed in jobs they hate, because they’re too scared to get another one. They’ve stayed with men or women who are good but not great, because they don’t want to be lonely. They mean to find a church, they mean to develop intimate friendships, they mean to stop drinking like life is one big frat party. But they don’t do those things, so they live in an extended adolescence, no closer to adulthood than when they graduated.

Don’t be like that. Don’t get stuck. Move, travel, take a class, take a risk. There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming. Don’t lose yourself at happy hour, but don’t lose yourself on the corporate ladder either. Stop every once in a while and go out to coffee or climb in bed with your journal.

Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? What have I learned about God this year? What parts of my childhood faith am I leaving behind, and what parts am I choosing to keep? Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe God is good and life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned.
Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path.

Written by Shauna Niequest is the author of Bittersweet (Zondervan). This article originally appeared in the May/June issue of RELEVANT.